going home next weekend -- can't wait. it's only been since march since the last time i was home - but it seems like forever. it will be good to get away and just relax, not to mention fussing over my mom for a few days. i wish i could do more for her but i'm not really sure what else i can do.
i wish i were going home this weekend - but i have a few miles to go before i sleep - my way of saying i have one more weeks worth of stuff to do before i actually vac. for a bit.
looking to take summer classes at the end of june and first week of july -- trying to figure out how i can swing two weeks of classes with two weeks in between them - to good counseling classes that i feel like need to take: 1. intro. in biblical counseling 2. biblical counseling through the psalms - that one sounds the coolest but it's the earlist one at that - not sure if i can swing this one.
okay need to go and grap dinner.
francie
Friday, May 18, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
So, I click on the Altoona Mirror, the local paper from home, as I ususally do to just see what's going on at home and the headline chocked me up -- the Altoona Alliance Church burnt down on Sunday afternoon. As the pastor and a few of the leadership were praying in the worship center, they were interupted by folks yelling that the church was on fire -- the article read that the church was totalled. The pastor was quoted as saying that the church wasn't the building but the people, as he turned to and pointed to members praying and singing together in the church parking lot.
My heart went out to them and as I pondered all night at Krispy Kreme I though how sad it's going to be to drive past that spot when I go home in a fews and see the devastation. And then in today's paper there is this picture. A shell of what was the Altoona Alliance Church. I read the article but my eyes kept going back to that picture. What if it were Beaver? What would be my reponse? The pastor noted in the article that the Altoona School's have offered the jr. high for their use on Sunday but he's not sure about where they will be come Monday. A 250 member church - what's next? Where do they go? It's amazing and encouraging to see the body extending love and compassion. The pastor also commented that churches and small business from around the Altoona area have offered help. But my second set of questions that came to my mind were -- what an opporuntity to get beyond the building?! To often we are tried to our buildings -- yes, they are nice and convienent but do they help or hinder our mission of spreading the good news of Christ? Again, I was led back to what if Beaver burnt -- what would we do? I don't have the answers to that. . . I would hope we would be like the early church in Acts and skip rebuilding and move to meeting in each other's homes - think of our brother and sister's in China -- their churches are the body meeting in homes and they are blosoming!
The article ended with the pastor inviting the community to join the church for prayer in the parking lot this wednesday -- i may not be able to be in Altoona but I can still pray. and that I will! One thing to be reminded of. . . God's presence is not in a building. He doesn't dwell in a room or parkinglot rather He has set up his dwelling in our lives - He has written His laws on our hearts -- He shall be our God and we shall be His people. So, despite the building being totalled -- Altoona Alliance still can rejoice and praise because they have the presence of the living God among them - the stuff may be gone but God isn't and will never be destoryed!
Monday, May 07, 2007
i'm sorry
two words that are so hard to say. . . why?
i've thought about that greatly over the past month and. . .
at least for me in my life the why can be answered with counting the number of fences i've hedged myself in with or the height of the walls i've placed around me in order to protect myself. i first have to stop feeling attached and start allowing God to defend me to protect me -- there is no way i can protect myself better than my Savior. so, i allow pride, guilt, shame, hurt, pain, selfishness, anger, embarressment, and self to mound a defense which usually leds to further pain, hurt, and such to those around me and to myself -- all in the name of self preservation.
when one does this, one can go on with life like nothing is wrong - basically cutting the branch off that is wounded or is hurtful - thus, giving the impression of no pain - but that's not the case -- it's just an illuion. the pain and hurt is buried beneath the feelings of defense. it's only when one allow's God's healing Words to be like a saive and begin to fight off the infection - that's when the healing begins and the defenses fall.
it's at the point when "i'm sorry" doesn't seem too hard - but yet it is - what's the reason now. time, distance, fear of rejection -- all rooted in a spirit of timidity that Paul assures me that is not from my Father -- I have a spirit of sound mind and life that my Lord has given me -- I just need to recieve it and wear it -- basically, i need to trust - trust not in me or man - but in God, my redeemer and friend.
the time is now - that's coming clear to me -- so, i will praise Him - because healing has happened, i can forgive and seek forgiveness - not because of how i feel but because of in whom I belong. i can't be in Christ if angry, bitterness, and strive is in my heart. that's not Christ's character and thus is can't be mine -- i need to love without ceasing, i need to be gentle and kind. i need to seek them over me - i need to put them before me. God took me away in order to speak words of compassion to me - now i need to do the same to those who have hurt me and i've hurt. we all made many errors in judgement - but it's now time for me to step out and drop my defenses and trust God to do the rest. 2 wrongs don't make a right -- i miss them -- i miss you out there.
i've thought about that greatly over the past month and. . .
at least for me in my life the why can be answered with counting the number of fences i've hedged myself in with or the height of the walls i've placed around me in order to protect myself. i first have to stop feeling attached and start allowing God to defend me to protect me -- there is no way i can protect myself better than my Savior. so, i allow pride, guilt, shame, hurt, pain, selfishness, anger, embarressment, and self to mound a defense which usually leds to further pain, hurt, and such to those around me and to myself -- all in the name of self preservation.
when one does this, one can go on with life like nothing is wrong - basically cutting the branch off that is wounded or is hurtful - thus, giving the impression of no pain - but that's not the case -- it's just an illuion. the pain and hurt is buried beneath the feelings of defense. it's only when one allow's God's healing Words to be like a saive and begin to fight off the infection - that's when the healing begins and the defenses fall.
it's at the point when "i'm sorry" doesn't seem too hard - but yet it is - what's the reason now. time, distance, fear of rejection -- all rooted in a spirit of timidity that Paul assures me that is not from my Father -- I have a spirit of sound mind and life that my Lord has given me -- I just need to recieve it and wear it -- basically, i need to trust - trust not in me or man - but in God, my redeemer and friend.
the time is now - that's coming clear to me -- so, i will praise Him - because healing has happened, i can forgive and seek forgiveness - not because of how i feel but because of in whom I belong. i can't be in Christ if angry, bitterness, and strive is in my heart. that's not Christ's character and thus is can't be mine -- i need to love without ceasing, i need to be gentle and kind. i need to seek them over me - i need to put them before me. God took me away in order to speak words of compassion to me - now i need to do the same to those who have hurt me and i've hurt. we all made many errors in judgement - but it's now time for me to step out and drop my defenses and trust God to do the rest. 2 wrongs don't make a right -- i miss them -- i miss you out there.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
spring is here and so are finals
man i just took exams in both of my classes and don't even have the grades back yet and now it's finals. so this weekend will be caughting up on reading, watching the final few classes, and studying my butt off! Thank goodness i have a few days off this weekend.
as i look out my office window, the trees outside are so green -- i love this time of year - the smell of fresh cut grass, the flowers - i'm thinking i'm going to go to walmart and buy flowers to plant rather than try the seed thing again this summer. i purchased tons of flowers last week for our open house and they were nice and cheap -- not to mention i don't have to wait for them to grow to see the flowers bloom.
had an interesting week - was accused of not paying my rent and thus, almost evitted - went to the court house and found out who really owns the house i live in, pulled over in beaver and played the dumb girl thing and had the cop feel bad for me, found out that one of my worst days at krispy kreme ever was not a total waste -- the easter weekend saturday i managed to tick off a lady in drive thru resulting in a 800 complaint call and get secret shopped all in one 6 hr. shift. BUT. . . yesterday the retail and site eval. came back and wow i didn't do too bad -- although i forgot to upsell - the secret shopper had nothing but positive things to say about my service - and to to boot she nailed me both in store and through drive thru - it was nice to go in last night after some very long days there to be recongized as having done a good job. i'll admit, i was proud because that day sucked really bad - but God was in control and turned my crap into beauty. also this week, i've had the best conversations with several of my volunteers -- it's refreshing to know that God not only sends folks to help serve but also for us to minister to them as well -- I praise God for the Becky's, Paul's, and so many other volunteers who give up time, talents, and resources to just be available and to see God use them. I met Pizza Joe himself - that was cool!! who would have thought a chicken club 7" round pizza during lunch time would result in my talking with Joe who started Pizza Joe's -- he didn't have a name tag on nor did he tell me who he was but from our conversation i knew -- sharing that with Kevin was cool because i remember 5 years ago being told Kevin needed to meet that man and to know that God got ahold of Joe and now he's being discipled and is sowing into God's work - that's cool -- i began to think if maybe that's another reason i'm at the Kreme to not only have a personal witnessing ministry but also to build relationships with Johnny Paycheck and others inorder to have them meet Kevin and be used by God to sow into this ministry. -- it's funny, with in one week of each other I will celebrate 5 yrs. at the Mission and 1 yr. at Krispy Kreme -- God's got a sense of humor!
okay - this post has been so random but that's really how i feel my life has been the past month or so - randomness that leads to me seeing God in the most cool ways
tonight i get to celebrate with my friend jessica -- twins!! And I praise Him for those He has put in my life and those He has removed from my life -- it's all for His Glory. life changes, people change but God never does -- that's a promise to build on.
i can't sign off without commenting on this -- today is the national day of prayer -- i understand why we have it but shouldn't every day be a national day of prayer? shouldn't we always be communing and communicating with the Father -- Isn't that a lesson we learn and see modeled through Christ? Why is it that the lowest attended services in churches are prayer meeting if churches have them at all? now it's like me calling the kettle black - i'm not able to attend beaver's prayer meeting regularly - they are on wednesday's and i generally am working - but that doesn't stop me from praying - but i am missing out on a huge blessing -- if you've ever attended a prayer meeting - a real meeting where the spirit leads and not the clock - well. . . then you know the power that God displays through and to those doing battle on their knees! some of my precious God moments are with students in prayer or at my church with my spiritual family on our knees praying for God's leading, for God's man for our church, for healing, etc. i would have to say the best program or event i've lead at the mission was when i first started and we had to down-size. . . morale was low - God put on my heart to prayer - and weekly, 3 of us would meet before chapel at 7:30am for intercession -- how powerful!! and then where was the thursday morning prayer times on campus -- only 2-3 of us but we had sweet fellowship and most defiently we were in the presences of our Savior - kneeling at the throne of Grace even though we were in Skye Lounge. I trully believe God will not heal our land or churches until we cry out - not just for help as the children of Israel did in the time of the judges but in true heart and gut repentence - that will only happen when we bow our knees and hearts to be still and allow God to try our hearts and show us the evil and allow Him to be the Redeemer - to clean our hearts.
Let's not just pray to day but everyday!
as i look out my office window, the trees outside are so green -- i love this time of year - the smell of fresh cut grass, the flowers - i'm thinking i'm going to go to walmart and buy flowers to plant rather than try the seed thing again this summer. i purchased tons of flowers last week for our open house and they were nice and cheap -- not to mention i don't have to wait for them to grow to see the flowers bloom.
had an interesting week - was accused of not paying my rent and thus, almost evitted - went to the court house and found out who really owns the house i live in, pulled over in beaver and played the dumb girl thing and had the cop feel bad for me, found out that one of my worst days at krispy kreme ever was not a total waste -- the easter weekend saturday i managed to tick off a lady in drive thru resulting in a 800 complaint call and get secret shopped all in one 6 hr. shift. BUT. . . yesterday the retail and site eval. came back and wow i didn't do too bad -- although i forgot to upsell - the secret shopper had nothing but positive things to say about my service - and to to boot she nailed me both in store and through drive thru - it was nice to go in last night after some very long days there to be recongized as having done a good job. i'll admit, i was proud because that day sucked really bad - but God was in control and turned my crap into beauty. also this week, i've had the best conversations with several of my volunteers -- it's refreshing to know that God not only sends folks to help serve but also for us to minister to them as well -- I praise God for the Becky's, Paul's, and so many other volunteers who give up time, talents, and resources to just be available and to see God use them. I met Pizza Joe himself - that was cool!! who would have thought a chicken club 7" round pizza during lunch time would result in my talking with Joe who started Pizza Joe's -- he didn't have a name tag on nor did he tell me who he was but from our conversation i knew -- sharing that with Kevin was cool because i remember 5 years ago being told Kevin needed to meet that man and to know that God got ahold of Joe and now he's being discipled and is sowing into God's work - that's cool -- i began to think if maybe that's another reason i'm at the Kreme to not only have a personal witnessing ministry but also to build relationships with Johnny Paycheck and others inorder to have them meet Kevin and be used by God to sow into this ministry. -- it's funny, with in one week of each other I will celebrate 5 yrs. at the Mission and 1 yr. at Krispy Kreme -- God's got a sense of humor!
okay - this post has been so random but that's really how i feel my life has been the past month or so - randomness that leads to me seeing God in the most cool ways
tonight i get to celebrate with my friend jessica -- twins!! And I praise Him for those He has put in my life and those He has removed from my life -- it's all for His Glory. life changes, people change but God never does -- that's a promise to build on.
i can't sign off without commenting on this -- today is the national day of prayer -- i understand why we have it but shouldn't every day be a national day of prayer? shouldn't we always be communing and communicating with the Father -- Isn't that a lesson we learn and see modeled through Christ? Why is it that the lowest attended services in churches are prayer meeting if churches have them at all? now it's like me calling the kettle black - i'm not able to attend beaver's prayer meeting regularly - they are on wednesday's and i generally am working - but that doesn't stop me from praying - but i am missing out on a huge blessing -- if you've ever attended a prayer meeting - a real meeting where the spirit leads and not the clock - well. . . then you know the power that God displays through and to those doing battle on their knees! some of my precious God moments are with students in prayer or at my church with my spiritual family on our knees praying for God's leading, for God's man for our church, for healing, etc. i would have to say the best program or event i've lead at the mission was when i first started and we had to down-size. . . morale was low - God put on my heart to prayer - and weekly, 3 of us would meet before chapel at 7:30am for intercession -- how powerful!! and then where was the thursday morning prayer times on campus -- only 2-3 of us but we had sweet fellowship and most defiently we were in the presences of our Savior - kneeling at the throne of Grace even though we were in Skye Lounge. I trully believe God will not heal our land or churches until we cry out - not just for help as the children of Israel did in the time of the judges but in true heart and gut repentence - that will only happen when we bow our knees and hearts to be still and allow God to try our hearts and show us the evil and allow Him to be the Redeemer - to clean our hearts.
Let's not just pray to day but everyday!
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