did you ever have one of those weeks where you just didn't feel good but didn't know why -- well. . . that's been me this week. not sure if my sinuses are whacked out and causing these headaches but i've not had headaches like these since my infamious head being eaten by my ghetto van a few years back. the headaches associated with feeling like i'm going to toss my cookies and even some unbalancing when i walk or move is very familar to the vertigo i experienced with my head injury -- all i've wanted to do is sleep - but i can't - open house looms in the near future. as much as i hate doctors, this is too weird for me - i just may have to break down and visit dr. michelle in chippewa.

other than feeling not to with it, i'm a bit behind in o.t. - have exam this week - but haven't felt like studying - now i have to cram - it's due tomorrow - got to love it! why does it seem everything hits at once - i have exam tomorrow, i have two groups coming to the mission - which they are overlapping a bit, and it's my week to clean the church -- it's going to be a long sleepless weekend.

so what's my problem? why am i late every week? it seems that no matter how hard i try - every sunday i'm late for church -- today was one missing shoe. it seems that satan is working hard to cause me to be distracted - well . . . it's not working!

today was great - i love hanging with folks in my church. i think one of the smartest moves we made was to have the lunches every sunday after church - it's such as great time to hang and to family together - breaking bread and just being with each other. i love laughing with my family. i love sharing what i'm learning and picking pastor less' brain in certain profs. i love that i get feed - and feed well!!! but mostly, i love just being real with each other. the next challenge is me taking on the main dish for one sunday -- they need to see i can cook!

today was great to hear brother jim speak -- to hear what God is doing in uganda -- wow! and jim's message - so ties to the book i just read for my o.t. class - i love that God is connecting the dots for me in what i'm learning.

okay time to go check my laundry

so, i'm sitting here waiting. . . waiting for my volunteers to arrive. i can't start anything that needs to be done for fear they will come and i will not be ready for them and i can't go anywhere for fear of not being here when they get here. . . so, i sit and wait. if you know me, that's not my strong suit. but that's the game i play in my job. . . hurry up and wait!

so as i wait i thought i would just update for a bit.

i hate this weather -- it needs to be nice -- not that i'm ready for the hotness of summer but i'm so tired of being cold. and to make matters worse. . . all of my inside projects for groups are about done -- it's needs to get nice so i have things for groups to do.

open house is coming up and you all know i l - o- v - e them! i think that's enough said on that!

tried to take my n.t. exam last week - but couldn't -- they e-campus portal was being updated and was unable to log in -- so, now i have two exams this week to take - got to love it! getting ready for summer classes and going to ky - looking forward to venturing south and being on campus as a real student.

had easter with my pastor and his wife and another church member -- actually it was fun! went to geneva with jeff and he actually dated my roomate - a bit weird but it's cool to know there's someone else in my church that can understand me a bit.

okay, my group is here -- need to go

reconciling what was with what is. . . why is that so hard to do? in many ways it feels like a life time ago but really hasn't been that long. yesterday i was told i was quieter than usuall - yes, i'll admit i was a bit stoic but not because i was mad at anyone as this person thought - i was just wrestling with how to move forward without losing or forgetting what was behind. last week's venture to gcc was a reminder of what was - strange but a good reminder. yet what's ahead excites as well. growing wings and flying all part of the cycle of life - if birds never flew they would surely die.

as a first semester freshmen, i had to read a book entitled - you can never go home again - at the time i thought it was stupid and one of those required things i just wanted to finish to check off of my list - but too often over the years, i've referred back to that book or let's say just the title -- "home" whatever that is for you - whether it be a physical site, a residence, a job, a person, etc. - will only remain the same in your head - it changes and grows just as we do being away - sometimes the changes are too great for one to go home again. that's what i'm pondering.

in other news: my second critical book review is done and in the can - ahead of time - go me! this one was harder despite having completed a first of it's kind ealier in the semester - it was harder because a 49/50 on the first trip out lends it'self to alot of pressure. i actually think this one took me longer to finish.

priase God for the second job - i've needed the funds really bad lately -- extra fees for school that i was unaware of, twice broken down car issues, repairs in my apartment . . . -- God is so providing for me and i still have money to eat -- and eat healthy i may add!

okay, i guess that's all for now