making sense of this book

who would have thought this little 136 page book would be the wild goose at the end of a long chase?! saturday i set out for ambridge to read this book in order to write a paper that night and sunday - well. . . that would prove to be harder than it seems. i'm sitting oh so quietly, which i know is hard to see me being quiet, but i was! i was lounging on a soft sofa reading said book when security come over to me and asks me who i am - now the desk guy knew i wasn't a student - but i was sent over to the lib. from the lady in the book store - he told me i could read the book as long as i didn't leave the lib. with it - so i'm thinking it's okay - i was wrong - security proceeds to tell me that i would have to leave - so, i pack my bag up and head out - i spend the rest of the night driving all around the area trying to track down this book - which i didn't find. i was going to go to grove city college and read the much thicker alterative book but due to the ice storms yesterday - was unable to do that -- so, i get up today and call the lady at the seminary bookstore - she tells me they do have it after all - i venture back to ambridge and explain my adventures on saturday to her - at that same time - said sercurity boy come in and takes over the story -- he tells me he was sorry for being so rude and says he didn't have all the facts - but now it's monday morning - my paper is due today -- well . . . i'm a bit late - my prof nows and is okay - i will have it done tonight and emailed in w/o any deductions - God's gracious! -- my point is -- in a way - i'm glad i couldn't read the other book - it sounded too technical and sciency for me - this book is actually really good - and more practical to my daily walk - not to mention it's shorter! i've been a student all day - minus the few church visits and donation box visits i've done -- it's been nice to put being a student ahead of work in both areas of my life. even in being a student i'm still the mission worker - God's blending my many worlds to fit together -- sitting in the beaver lib. today reading - i sat beside a young guy who had a book i purchased at ollies a few months back - i asked him if it was good - we started talking about the whole emgerent church thing -- come to find out he's a pastor in new brighton and actually has heard me speak on the mission - i've been to the new brighton clergy meetings once - he told me to stop over some time -- stink'n cool - in the past few months He is opening several key doors in beaver county for the mission -- it's cool for me to see this - i've spent so much time hitting and missing in meeting pastors and trying to get our name out there in five years at the mission -- what will be even more cool is when we have an office in the area -- doesn't hurt that i may be at my church -- and krispy kreme - wow - saturday night at hanging with diane and her boys -- fun but more importantly i got to share more about my walk -- she's like a big sister type - the whole catholic thing aside - i can see and sense she is open - she asks questions all the time - and last night carol -- who would have thought the songs God puts in my head that i allow to blurt out in singing would lead to being asked to bring in my praise and worship cd's to listen to on sunday nights -- so - next sunday we will be listening to david crowder, matt redmen, chris tomlin, and my boy arron shust instead of bobfm!

okay - need to go and finish my paper!

This reminds me of that Robin Williams move where the lady swam in the pool of pasta -- how cool would jumping into a pool of jello be?!!!!


I haven't posted any of these post cards in while -- truthfully, none have really caught my attention -- some are too much for me to post -- but i like post secrets -- it's interesting to see what people will tell a total stranger - knowing that their secret may be seen and read by millions -- what's the attraction to anonmity? is it that we somehow don't have to fess up or own/take responsiblity for our behaviors, actions, thoughts, or deeds -- or is it that just sharing with someone that doesn't know us and in turn we precieve will not judge us - is that what the attraction is -- is that what causes the release of guilt/shame - being peace to the person's life who is sending the post-secret? I don't know -- but from one own expereience -- when you share things from your life that are hurtful have brought pain or damaging - you do run the risk of being judged and hurt by others -- but that's why the scripture points out not to put your trust in men but put your hope in God! -- man only looks at the outward and what he can see, hear, and tough - but God -- God looks beneath and inside to the real you -- He's the one we need to share your hurts and secrets -- only He can being true peace and relieve -- man's relieve is but for a temporary period - but God's is eternal and life chaning! God forgives man doesn't -- man remembers and holds grudges - God forgives and casts them as far as the east is from the west - and now there is no condemnation! Do I hurt - yes - but not for what i was told i should be hurting -- God healed me a year ago - He touched me and made me whole -- i'm hurt because man only saw the surface and didn't seek God for what was beneath-- one day you will see me as God sees me - not for what i did in my past.

okay, the last time i tried to post there was an error in the blooger system and i wasn't able to - i lost what i had typed -- so, it's been about a month - have i mentioned i hate pa in the winter -- it's cold everywhere i go - the only one warm spot is my office at the Mission.

the past month as been a typical -- a bit different than in previous years -- figuring out this whole FACTS thing - paying my first installment of tution for the semester, ording books, forgetting E-campus passwords, speaking at several different churches, being sleep deprived, having interesting God conversations with kk co-workers, lamenting on those who have left the programs, seeing new people visit beaver, being seen as more than just that girl who works at the mission and used to work with college students at the beaver falls clergy meeting -- having them give me my first opportuntiy to "preach" - albeit, a short devo. but at a lenten dinner service -- something that wouldn't happen in baptist life, realizing my world and veiws are changing - i'm at beaver for the people not because it's southern baptist - denomination really doesn't matter to me anymore - really reconnecting with my roots, enjoying the new look of nascar.com -- that kasey kane is a hottie! - i think i'm going to root for kane, kevin harvick, and of course gordon - i think mr. slovan would smack me if i didn't. i'm realizing how much of a homebody i'm turning into - i like my bed, the down time. I'm seeing the book of james with new eyes - thanks mostly in part to pastor's deep teaching. understanding just because they are gone - those families will always be part of beaver - wondering if the vast majority of my life has been a waste - still not sure what's next - but okay with it -- missing somethings but not missing most of it - lamenting over sore toes -- in a nutshell that's been my month. there's more i could say - but i need to get ready for a vbs fair that's tonight - i get to go pimp the mission!!