honesty

so today i spent the day doing a small training with my two new interns and my assist. we met at my church - how funny i touched on humility, communication, teamwork, and unity - the funny part is those things are missing from my church.

after we had dinner, i spent some time cleaning up and shutting off things. as i prepared to leave, one of my fellow church members was cutting the grass -- i stopped outside to chat for a moment. due to both of our busy schedules i had seen him or his wife for a bit. i asked the usually "how ya doin'" . . . what i was met with was real honesty.

"Not Good"

he went on to share how he was looking forward to and was excited about the up-coming baptism this sunday but at the same time sad over the recent events and drama of our church. we sent the next 10-15 minutes just lamenting together. the man of God whom i highly respect shared that this time is the first time since he had started attending in 1990 that he had a question mark as to the outcome -- he shared "i just don't know" - and with that statement, my brother had tears pouring down his face.

i feel this pain -- we agree we have been through alot with this family - but this loss - this loss really hurts - in more ways then one. of course we miss those who have left out of hurt and anger, yes, we are feeling the tenseness of the drama, but mostly reality is setting in -- no people in the pews means less funding, less resourses for God, less choices -- at some point the bank will run dry. what then?

how does a church operate without people? it's like running a car without gas - it just can't happen - at some point the tank with run dry and the fuel pump with burn up, causing more problems than just running out of gas.

is this really what God purposes for us? to run until we are dry and break down?

so i ask again. . . how can a church run with out the most needed thing - the church (the people) - without the church we just have a building - we are just maintaining stuff - we are not really being kingdom builders nor are we useful or useable to God.

the gentle man of God shared his only solution is psalm 46:10 -- i agree - we need to listen, wait, and ask for healing - in more ways then one. he shared he just has to place beaver in the Father's hands - wow! - what a mouthful! -

are we and have we placed ourselves and the rest of our family in our Father's hands? or are we conformed to man-made ideals of church? are we too prideful, to self-righteous to seek honest healing and forgiveness?

i don't have the answers for my broken family - but as i shared with my brother, no matter what I will praise my God for how He has worked in the past, for how He is working now - and yes, my heart must convince my mind that my God is directly in the center of this mess, He hasn't left us, and i must praise Him and give Him the glory for the outcome -- no matter what it is. whether good or bad all will be for His glory and for our good.

matt redmen penned and tree 63 exclaimed "Blessed be the name of the Lord"

Father help me to see you in the center of this storm. Please bring your healing rains and hover over beaver until we are soaked in your love.

start with me - help me to confess my hurt/anger/displeasure with those around me and give me the strength to seek forgivenss.