sinus infection - oh how i love thy!

went to bed thurday night feeling great - woke up friday with a sour throat and a fever - how's that for a good night's rest?!

after sleeping most of the weekend - in the heat - i wasn't feeling better - so, i did what i hate to do - go to the doctor's - and i'm glad i did (did i really say that?)

not only do i have a sinus infection - but i have some fluid in not one, but both of my ears - fun, fun, fun! but i was able to get another $.10 off of gas after getting my meds. - the prescriptions helped me to push past the $50 mark - usually it takes me a month or two to spend that much at Gaint Eagle - but not this time!

here it is day 2 of meds. and i'm. . . not AS tired, don't have a sore throat any more but i am not stuffed up - where i wasn't before and my ears still feel oh so fluidy - i'm hoping it gets better cause i really hate doctor's.

francie

wow - i knew jr. was going to make a change in teams - but henricks? - what does that do for jeff gordon? -- will he still be the go to guy or will jr. be the man? i really thought he would go with rcr since that's where his dad was - but now henricks has them all. . . gordon, johnson and now jr. -- jr. wants to win a championship . . . well, that's good for the organization but what about the other two guys - gordon is hungry for #5 and johnson, he tasted the top and wants more too. not sure how it's going to play out - but i still like both gordon and jr. . . . and i can't forget about sweet little casey kane - he's so cute! but he's having a crappy season - but that's okay he's still a good driver in his own right.

okay -needed to vent on the nascar stuff -i haven't seen mr. slovan to compare rants - i'm sure we will do that on sunday.

in other stuff - visited my first vbs to rescue tuesday - it was cute - i sure am missing not doing vbs this summer at beaver - even though last summer was such a drama filled week, i can't help but hunger to see kids of all ages and backgrounds come to know Jesus - some who has never heard before. Father, may you pour out your spirit upon all kids this summer - may each vbs around the country be bold and share your name for your glory!

one other note - i was watching the replay of tuesday's sbc stuff this morning - i couldn't help but noticed during one of the motions being made by a messenger that in the background of the microphone area there was a lady knitting - how funny is that?!! she seemed to be very excited to be there and listen to the sbc poltics of the day!

okay - my time is about up - i need to venture south to cranberry for another night of krispy kreme fun!

isn't new suppose to be better?

well in the case of our new email provider - no -- so it's been one week since we switched to our new website and email - and still isn't better - aside from not really having access to my email much over the week - i'm not really liking the "new" and "improved" email. it's harder to navigate through - your messages don't really get deleted - they just move from folder to folder - and the spam - it's still there - isn't that the reason we switched? -- to decrease our huge spam in take. . . didn't work - and the site -- it's a mouth full to remember - i'm going to have to carry the site tattooed to my hand when ever i'm out and about in order to access my email - cause i'll never remember it. and to add to the frustration -- the email forwarded to us from the provider indicated that certain types of email will not be able to get through - such as hotmail, yahoo, gmail - etc. this may be seen as spam and not be allowed through to our boxes - that's not good - who knows how many emails i've missed or have not been able to send -- that's why i love the phone -- i can always pick the phone and call the youth leader or possible volunteer - but sometimes the first contact is through email via our website or another site i'm linked to.

but this too shall pass - just needed to vent.

francie

fresh fruit

not much going on -- finished the cooperative program course that apparently i needed to take but didn't know it until they placed a hold on my account to where i couldn't registar of classes - a bit frustrating but nevertheless the class is done - did learn a few things but not too much - but like my pastor said the lectures will be good to use for a new members type of class - being that southern gives us the permission to download and the us the lectures for free in churches - so, thanks to the cp monies my church has another free resource.

i'm going home this weekend - twice in three weeks - it's amazing! - but going home for the annual blair county relay for life - my mom doesn't ask much of me but this is something i know means alot to her - so, every year i make great strides to go home and send the weekend at madison park, walking and looking at all the tent set-ups in tent city -the the free meals from the outback are good too! but the high light has to be walking the surviors lap with my mom -- every year become more and emotional and means more -- to see the see of survior shirts and to reflect and remember those who lost their lives to cancer - it's something! it's also a great bonding time for me and my mom - we laugh, cry, and remember my grandma - who died of stomach cancer at 3am in march 15, 1993 - yes, you read right - on my birthday - so, my birthday is bitter sweet in many ways.

okay enough updates of my mundane life - i've been enjoying the fresh fruit that is now lining the shelves of my local stores -- everything from in season watermellon, cantalope, strawberrys, and right now my fav. peach!! -- i love the smell of a fresh, ripe peach - it's heavenly! speaking of fruit - i need to go and buy some more to snack on for tonights adventures at krispy kreme!

see ya!

going home next weekend -- can't wait. it's only been since march since the last time i was home - but it seems like forever. it will be good to get away and just relax, not to mention fussing over my mom for a few days. i wish i could do more for her but i'm not really sure what else i can do.

i wish i were going home this weekend - but i have a few miles to go before i sleep - my way of saying i have one more weeks worth of stuff to do before i actually vac. for a bit.

looking to take summer classes at the end of june and first week of july -- trying to figure out how i can swing two weeks of classes with two weeks in between them - to good counseling classes that i feel like need to take: 1. intro. in biblical counseling 2. biblical counseling through the psalms - that one sounds the coolest but it's the earlist one at that - not sure if i can swing this one.

okay need to go and grap dinner.

francie

So, I click on the Altoona Mirror, the local paper from home, as I ususally do to just see what's going on at home and the headline chocked me up -- the Altoona Alliance Church burnt down on Sunday afternoon. As the pastor and a few of the leadership were praying in the worship center, they were interupted by folks yelling that the church was on fire -- the article read that the church was totalled. The pastor was quoted as saying that the church wasn't the building but the people, as he turned to and pointed to members praying and singing together in the church parking lot.

My heart went out to them and as I pondered all night at Krispy Kreme I though how sad it's going to be to drive past that spot when I go home in a fews and see the devastation. And then in today's paper there is this picture. A shell of what was the Altoona Alliance Church. I read the article but my eyes kept going back to that picture. What if it were Beaver? What would be my reponse? The pastor noted in the article that the Altoona School's have offered the jr. high for their use on Sunday but he's not sure about where they will be come Monday. A 250 member church - what's next? Where do they go? It's amazing and encouraging to see the body extending love and compassion. The pastor also commented that churches and small business from around the Altoona area have offered help. But my second set of questions that came to my mind were -- what an opporuntity to get beyond the building?! To often we are tried to our buildings -- yes, they are nice and convienent but do they help or hinder our mission of spreading the good news of Christ? Again, I was led back to what if Beaver burnt -- what would we do? I don't have the answers to that. . . I would hope we would be like the early church in Acts and skip rebuilding and move to meeting in each other's homes - think of our brother and sister's in China -- their churches are the body meeting in homes and they are blosoming!

The article ended with the pastor inviting the community to join the church for prayer in the parking lot this wednesday -- i may not be able to be in Altoona but I can still pray. and that I will! One thing to be reminded of. . . God's presence is not in a building. He doesn't dwell in a room or parkinglot rather He has set up his dwelling in our lives - He has written His laws on our hearts -- He shall be our God and we shall be His people. So, despite the building being totalled -- Altoona Alliance still can rejoice and praise because they have the presence of the living God among them - the stuff may be gone but God isn't and will never be destoryed!

i'm sorry

two words that are so hard to say. . . why?

i've thought about that greatly over the past month and. . .

at least for me in my life the why can be answered with counting the number of fences i've hedged myself in with or the height of the walls i've placed around me in order to protect myself. i first have to stop feeling attached and start allowing God to defend me to protect me -- there is no way i can protect myself better than my Savior. so, i allow pride, guilt, shame, hurt, pain, selfishness, anger, embarressment, and self to mound a defense which usually leds to further pain, hurt, and such to those around me and to myself -- all in the name of self preservation.

when one does this, one can go on with life like nothing is wrong - basically cutting the branch off that is wounded or is hurtful - thus, giving the impression of no pain - but that's not the case -- it's just an illuion. the pain and hurt is buried beneath the feelings of defense. it's only when one allow's God's healing Words to be like a saive and begin to fight off the infection - that's when the healing begins and the defenses fall.

it's at the point when "i'm sorry" doesn't seem too hard - but yet it is - what's the reason now. time, distance, fear of rejection -- all rooted in a spirit of timidity that Paul assures me that is not from my Father -- I have a spirit of sound mind and life that my Lord has given me -- I just need to recieve it and wear it -- basically, i need to trust - trust not in me or man - but in God, my redeemer and friend.

the time is now - that's coming clear to me -- so, i will praise Him - because healing has happened, i can forgive and seek forgiveness - not because of how i feel but because of in whom I belong. i can't be in Christ if angry, bitterness, and strive is in my heart. that's not Christ's character and thus is can't be mine -- i need to love without ceasing, i need to be gentle and kind. i need to seek them over me - i need to put them before me. God took me away in order to speak words of compassion to me - now i need to do the same to those who have hurt me and i've hurt. we all made many errors in judgement - but it's now time for me to step out and drop my defenses and trust God to do the rest. 2 wrongs don't make a right -- i miss them -- i miss you out there.